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Why Not Have Shared Goals and Intentions This Year?

Why Not Have Shared Goals and Intentions This Year?

Establishing shared goals and intentions can have a positive influence on the dynamics and overall well-being of a couple’s relationship.

Working on a project or self-improvement target with our partner, friend or colleague can add an extra level of interest, motivation and activity to that relationship. It provides a positive reason to check-in, keep in touch and better ourselves.

Making the decision to work with another person can be especially good if there are times when we tend to lose our enthusiasm or are too busy and stressed, resulting in us feeling disinclined to continue. When there’s a positive outcome to jointly work towards, to discuss, laugh about, as well as share tips and different ways to succeed it can benefit all involved. It matters little if the motivation comes from not wanting to disappoint the other person or look bad in front of them by ‘failing’ or walking away.

There may well be times when one person has to encourage the other if they dip in their enthusiasm or if they’re struggling, having a bad day. But often there’s regular accountability and sometimes even a competitive edge to sticking with goals and plans and this can be enough to ensure that both get out of bed in the morning!

The dynamics of a relationship changes when a shared goal or agenda is introduced, initially because they’re feeling inspired and are keen to achieve, but then continuing as they gradually start to see results and benefits. Sometimes these positive feelings will come as a consequence of stopping smoking, losing weight, becoming fitter or when they see movement towards the completion of an exciting academic or business-related project.

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One important outcome is that working together involves getting to know each other better. Often a deeper level of intimacy is shared as feelings, hopes and dreams become topics for discussion. But there may be other times when frustrations or lack of confidence surface and then it’s more effective to be firm, supportive, discuss areas of concern and navigate the most appropriate way forward.

Shared goals can also include some possibly unexpected, potential hazards which it’s important to be aware of.  For example, if one person significantly starts to weaken in their resolve it can be a potentially precarious time for all involved. The winter months, especially can be a time when we may prefer to stay at home and hibernate, curl up with a good book or series on the television and essentially do anything rather than leave the house to go to the gym or for a walk!

If one of the pair or team is intent on backing out maybe plan for a reserve or substitute who can replace them, even temporarily plugging the gap. And, who knows, if the wavering person sees those goals and intentions continuing without them, their fear of missing out may inspire them enough to return and get back on board.

Unfortunately though, when working on a shared project, it sometimes happens that one person ends up doing a major part of the work. They may persevere because they’re engaged, have invested a lot of time and effort, want to finish it, or need to submit their results, but it can feel unfair if others are sitting back and doing very little. And, if the effort becomes too much, they may feel that sharing the fruits of their labour isn’t working for them and decide to walk away.

Let’s Talk Motivation! By Susan Leigh

Equally though, a mixture of people can bring a myriad of different skills into the mix, which can work well and improve the overall outcome. Shared goals may bring a new energy into our mindset and drive everything forward in a positive way.

If we take a fitness goal, one person may be sporty and energetic, whilst the other is well informed about nutrition, health and wellbeing. In a work or business setting, one may have product or sales experience whilst another has financial, marketing or PR knowledge. Having a variety of skills in-house is a major advantage in any project or goal and ensures that those involved are heavily invested in its success.

Shared goals can bring a dream team together and achieve impressive, unanticipated outcomes. But all involved have to share the vision, be prepared to compromise and be tolerant of each other whilst also doing the work.

Susan Leigh, Counsellor and Hypnotherapist lifestyletherapy.net

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Susan Leigh
Susan Leighhttp://www.lifestyletherapy.net
Susan Leigh, counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship counsellor, writer & media contributor offers help with relationship issues, stress management, assertiveness and confidence. Author of 3 books, ‘Dealing with Stress, Managing its Impact’, ‘101 Days of Inspiration #tipoftheday’ and ‘Dealing with Death, Coping with the Pain’, all on Amazon. To order a copy or for more information, help and free articles visit www.lifestyletherapy.net

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